Here is an excerpt from JD's paper. What are its strengths? How could he empower it?
"Japanese fashion is very simple. The citizens wear 'uniforms' in regards to their status and position. The exuberant colors that are seen in manga comics are not as common in real life. In 'Japan as Uniform Culture from Uniforms: Why We Are What We Wear,' Paul Fussell explains that Japanese fashion revolves around the perception that 'one is being watched all the time,' which leads to the statement that 'one's outsides and general appearance are this all-important and behavioral uniformity there provides a safer refuge from the stigma if singularity than it does in most places.' The vivid images of Japan that have become the common stereotype are an anomaly. Japanese citizens do not like insecurity. To be average in Japan is highly regarded. Similarity allows for cooperation in Japan, which is seen as effective and efficient. Looking at Japan through stereotypes and manga only allow westerners to see an art form that is relevant in a fraction of Japanese culture. However, even though the brightly colored Japan that westerners vision is only a small minority of Japanese culture, it makes up much of the misconception that westerners have."
Joe wrote a strong excerpt here. My favorite parts of his passage were his quotes and their effectiveness, and also the ideas he developed about the stereotype of Japan by westerners regarding the colors and the individuality of people. Content-wise, I thought this passage was very good. However, I think that a term like "vivid images" is an overused term that has grown old, and doesn't do Japanese fashion justice. In addition, "Westerners vision" is not grammatically correct and I believe that should be changed to "envision." Other than a few minor grammar issues, this passage was very good.
ReplyDeleteI liked how Joe simplified everything, he broke down all of the aspects of the article and his argument and explained it fully with quotes and examples. What could be improved upon in this paragraph is sentence structure. Some sentences are awkward and worded strangely.
ReplyDeleteI though this was a great piece by Joe. He used some great vocabulary like "exuberant colors" which demonstrated his understanding of and ability to explain his topic. I like his take on and the way he wrote the piece as well as his use of quotes. Overall, it was a great work.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a fan of how Joe spinned a lot of his piece to reinforce this stereotypical idea of Japan versus the real deal. His diction also does an excellent job calling the comics manga rather than comics themselves. Overall, great piece by Joe.
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