Here is an excerpt from KR's paper. What are its strengths? How could he empower it?
'The eternal soul is never contented; it ever seeks exaltation.'
"Human curiosity has been a big factor in the development of the modern world. Most people would agree that everyone is curious, even from the time of birth, playing with all sorts of toys and objects. This nature, it can be said, is a part of a unique trait of humans that in the case is called a soul. Even if one does not believe that humans have this spiritual soul, he must agree that all humans have this questioning nature within them. Seeing as how that soul is never contented, it can be said that whatever it is that the soul is lacking, may be discovered in knowledge. Knowledge represents power in the material world. Many religions believe knowledge is just as powerful in a spiritual world. Therefore, this everlasting soul is always desiring more knowledge because it can never truly know enough, just as the proverb states. If humans were content with what they know, research and education would not be conducted, yet they still persist. Knowledge is what runs the world and as a result, the human soul will forever desire it."
Kyle is exactly right in stating that the everlasting soul is always desiring more knowledge because it can never know enough. I like how he tied in a different element, that of knowledge, to a paper about the soul. One grammatical error that I spotted that is a meaningless typo is "unique trait of humans that in the case is called a soul." Methinks you meant THIS case. No big deal. Also, the sentence about religions and knowledge seemed auxiliary and unnecessary. In the AP Exam, their will be little to no time to think of and write sentences that are not directly connected to your argument. All in all, exceptionally strong paper.
ReplyDeleteI wrote about the same quote, but with different analysis. Kyle structures his argument around knowledge and its materialistic nature. very different from what i wrote. I also notice too many unsound observations. such as "can be said" (twice), and "seeing as". these are out of place and could easily be resolved if you drop those phrases. still a great paper that surpasses my one on the same proverb
ReplyDeleteKyle is right when he says the everlasting soul is always desiring more knowledge because it can never know enough. One mistake Kyle has is that the sentence about religion seem not necessary. The paper was still good though.
ReplyDeleteI think what Kyle said was very empowering and right on target for this particular quote. It gave exceptional insight and was empowering. One thing I noticed is that he mostly spoke about the first portion of the quotation not the second part where it seeks exhalation. It was still nearly perfect without this portion but it would be better to talk about the second part as much as the first was stressed
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