Here is an excerpt from KR's paper. What are its strengths? How could he empower it?
"Much of the contradictions and fighting in India was powered by a sense that the fight was for a greater good. That value by Indians of all of its many groups is portrayed in The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh as the man who assassinated Gandhi believed he did what was necessary for India's well-being. On the bright side, this belief meant that Indians truly cared about what happened in India. On the other hand though it led to much conflict as a result of the differences among Indians. All of the different ideas in India was fueled by a belief that they are the 'Truth' (Brahman and Atman 2). This value of Indians may be their most important in that it fuels other ideas and actions particularly in regards to fighting. Righteousness drives everyone and especially Indians."
This particular excerpt from Kyle's paper is a really great piece and i think it fully gets the point across of what he is trying to make. His diction is very strong but a thing that could be improved upon is the amount of words he uses. At times i think he has some unnecessary words in his writing that would make the piece flow better if they were cut out.
ReplyDeleteWay to tie in rigteousness driving Indians in everything they do. Kyle does a solid job of navigating the trap that is not justifying Gandhi's murder but demonstrating the underlying morals and effort. One thing that could be improved is that I would put the sentence about Indians caring before the sentence about killing Gandhi. That might have been a safer alternative to not come on too strong when writing about a touchy subject.
ReplyDeletethe first sentence may or may not be grammatically correct. im not sure. but besides that, Kyle makes a good point. he does a great job covering how these values affect Indians themselves. he goes into good analysis when he said "This value of Indians may be their most important in that it fuels other ideas and actions particularly in regards to fighting."
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