Here is an excerpt from KR's paper. What are its strengths? How could he empower it?
"As colonization created a sense of passivity in Oceania, it did not play a role in the ethical beliefs that already existed. The story in 'Kill to Eat' involves an entre group of children being punished for the act of killing a bird that was only committed by one individual. Their punishment was harsh: no hunting for three months with a very limited supply of food. It must be noted that this punishment was dealt, with no questions, to the whole group of children when the supposed crime was only committed by one of them. The main character gives the reason for the punishment: 'We must all take the blame. That is the way of the Aborigine. Since we had killed for the sake of killing, the punishment was that for three months we should not hunt or use our weapons. For three months we would only eat the white man's hatred rations' (Noonuccal 11). The character's use of the collective 'we' is quite interesting in that she seems to accept the punishment with no hesitation despite her innocence. This deep set belief within her that what occurred was her fault and that her punishment was just, demonstrates how long-lasting this, quite ethical, belief of the aboriginal is. Considering that the main character's father worked for the [colonial] government ' (Noonuccal 9), it is clear that the colonizers had no effect on this innate and good (in the eyes of the westerners) value. Conflict and violence was already dying down, in this area, before the colonizers came. There was nothing they needed to do as the minds of some aboriginals were already as docile as could be."
Kyle makes a really strong argument here. I enjoyed his points leading up to the quote and thought that the quote reinforced his ideas very well. However, he says in his first line that colonization created a sense of passivity. He does not really develop this until the very end of his argument despite it being his opening point.
ReplyDeleteKyle did a good job using the quotes to help enforce his argument. Kyle uses multiple quotes to show that the Aborigine people took responsibility. His first sentence isn't really proven to the end of the paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the number of quotes that Kyle used because they really helped back up his argument. The more quotes the better because of the more concrete the argument becomes. One suggestion is how Kyle should try to relate his final sentence back to his topic sentence
ReplyDeleteI actually disagree with what they said about the quotes. I felt they were too close together and they lost their significance as they were overshadowed by the other. I thought that in his second to last sentence, the comma helps break the sentence and increase the significance of the point he makes pertaining to colonization.
ReplyDeleteI actually disagree with what they said about the quotes. I felt they were too close together and they lost their significance as they were overshadowed by the other. I thought that in his second to last sentence, the comma helps break the sentence and increase the significance of the point he makes pertaining to colonization.
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